Yes, we plan our facebook stance in a group

4 blondes: noitsyou, linds, shan and JM. One ex boyfriend: Rhymes with odd.

odd:  is noitsyou hot
 Sent at 1:57 PM on Friday
 shan:  noitsyou who? what are you talking about?
 odd:  you and linds friend
 shan:  how do you know about noitsme?
 Sent at 2:04 PM on Friday
 shan:  creeeeeepy
 odd:  (creepy smiley face)
 shan:  no but really. explain yourself

Responses that ensued.

JM:Tell him to get a hobby.

shan: I am literally creeped out right now. what a freak.

Linds: Seriously….does he have to be such a DIRT BAG?! I’m with JM..tell him to get a hobby and to stop facebook talking our pages

noitsyou: Is this your first or second ex husband? I always get them confused.

shan: NO! thats the best part! he DELETED ME!

Linds: So he is stalking through my page… should I limit profile him or block him?

JM: That means he can still see your pics! Make them private to your friends only!!!

noitsyou: He deleted you and he is stalking me. Why didn’t you keep him?

shan: Whatever, I think its hilarious….. what is wrong with him???

noitsyou: I love stalkers, I always find them funny.

linds: This is the second guy to stalk you from my facebook page…. serrrriously

noitsyou: Why do stalkers flock to me? Two guys from facebook. That guy in NY on the first night and that freak and his pal from tighttight or justmarried.com?

shan: you just have that stalker sec appeal i guess!

noitsyou: I  just always attract the weirdos. Like mosquitoes to oily Italians.

I think now I understand why I am 27 and still live at home with my parents. Is it martini time yet?

The day I crossed the line.

Here in Boston there are Dunkin Donuts on every corner. Literally every. If you ain’t drinking Dunkin’ you ain’t from Boston; except for when you are drinking Starbucks. I love their Americanos with the soy milk cold on the side. I wasnt a fan when they switched soy milks. The new one tastes a little funky. Nothing I can’t cover up with a little bit of sweet n’ low (yes mom I know it causes cancer) and chocolate powder.

So, Dunkin’ donuts. All across the Northeast DD is being protested by their drivers. Not enough pay, not enough hours, not enough donuts. I am sure their cause is great. But when the bottomless pit that is my stomach starts growling I will cross your picket line. Shocker.

I trudge to the elevators and head outside and am overpowered by their music and large in charge man on the megaphone. Come hell or high water I am getting my egg and cheese croissant. I start attempt to cross their 3 person deep line and I am bombarded with hot sweaty men begging me not to go in. 

“Dunks is closed.” “Only Starbucks today!” “There is a restaurant down the street”.

No thanks.

“Come on sweetie just for today”

I don’t see you rolling out of bed to make me breakfast.

I went in, was greeted with smiles, got my delicious sandwich which was hot and toasty. Upon leaving a large hippo like woman was in my way on the sidewalk. I tried to step around her. She moved her dress suit clad body into my way again. Again I tried to step around her. The broad tried to trip me! So I looked the deadly beast in her eye raised my manicured hand and said :

“That was rude of you. I’m eating here everyday this week.”

I was too busy walking away to hear Hippos reaction. It sounded like a groan or a grunt but it could have been her legs collapsing from all the bodily movements she just put herself through. See you tomorrow; that is if you don’t go into cardiac arrest in a mere matter of minutes.