I got invited to go to an awesome chocolate tour at the last-minute on Saturday. http://bostonchocolatetours.com/ Naturally I enlisted help from the blondetourage. Shan was my date. I should have know that making an impression would be accomplished, just not the type I was hoping for. I met Shan at Godiva in Faneuil Hall and of course I was late, per usual. We started here and ate the most delicious truffles. We also found out how Godiva got their logo and the true meaning of peeping tom. It has to do with taxes and a naked woman with blonde hair. My kind of story; no, I’m not a lesbian. After half an hour here we were already in a chocolate coma and Shan fell out of the store trying to leave. Literally. Fell. Out. Of. The. Store. Strike 1.
We then moved to wagamama and had perfectly delectable chocolate cake. Next up was Sprinkles where we had their most chocolately chocolate ice cream topped with their homemade hot fudge. Then was onto Sprinkles sister shop where we had different chocolate baked treats, cookies and chocolate covered macaroons. My Papa would have loved them.
We started our walk over to the north end to partake in the second half of the tour. The woman walking behind Shan quietly pulled her aside to let her know that the umbrella she was carrying just in case it started to rain was in fact hiking up her dress exposing her buttock to all of the tourist and members of the tour walking behind her. Strike 2. At this point our guide decided it was a good time to take a break along the Rose Kennedy Greenway http://www.rosekennedygreenway.org/. I went to sit down on a stone bench and fell. It was far lower to the ground then I suspected. Strike 3. So Shan is flashing her ass and I can’t sit down. Our tour guide at this point actually asked us if we were sisters or at least related. No ma’am unfortunately not. If we were Siamese twins I would cry for our liver.
We finally pulled ourselves together and moved on to the second part of our tour which included three bakeries where we consumed chocolate covered gummi bears, chocolate cupcakes, chocolate cream frosting, and fudge at lulus’ http://www.yelp.com/biz/lulus-bake-shoppe-boston, lyndells http://lyndells.com/, marias http://www.northendboston.com/marias/. The tour commenced and Shan and I rolled ourselves to the bar.
Where did you expect us to go?
While we were stuffing our already too fat dresses with mojitos, dirty martinis extra dirty and spinach and artichoke dip we saw our tour guides who thanked us for one of the more memorable tours they have conducted.
So I guess we did make an impression, exactly as planned.
As we are giggling away an elderly man who looked like he escaped from fraggle rock stopped at our table. He pushed a piece of crumbled up dirty notepad paper into my hand and said call me Monday sweet heart and as I tried to shove the paper back into his hand he scrambled away squawking ”I’ll make it worth your while”. Really, FRANK you will? Because I am sure your 70-year-old ass can’t, go home, write-up some more pieces of paper with your phone number already on them and find some other hookers to sass with your “I’ll make it worth your while” attitude. Thanks for playing.
Really, how do I attract these people?
